I may be the only person who does this, but anytime I walk by a mirror I think, “What if I tucked my chin here, lost “this” many pounds and looked skinny like so and so, or my face wasn’t so fat, my thighs so big, or I looked better with this makeup on?”
For the majority of my life, I struggled with an eating disorder. Basically up until 2016, I counted calories and spent an enormous amount of time focusing on what I looked like. Now hear me on this. It is not to say we don’t take care of the body God has given us, but when our focus becomes completely on one thing it’s an idol.
I spent an enormous amount of time trying to look the way I thought I should look to be accepted. Instead of coming to the One who accepts me and loves me as I am. Then, graciously, and mercifully, He begins to change me as I stay close to Him.
Because I spent so much time starving myself over the years, I have a picture of myself in my mind that’s not reasonable. I think I should look like I looked when I was spending hours focused on what I looked like and eating about 500 calories a day.
It brings me back to the whole eternal perspective as God knows the number of my days. I’m going to do the best to take care of my body while here on earth so I can do what He has called me to do. However, when I start to fix my eyes on my looks, Satan takes that and runs with it.
Instead of walking by the mirror, and seeing God’s chosen, beloved, adopted child, I start to tear myself down. I have fixed my eyes on what is seen and not what is unseen. We know “charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord, shall be praised.” (Prov. 31:30)
And when I start to fix my eyes on what I look like, I don’t focus on becoming inside who God wants me to be. I have to come back like I did today and stop using energy to judge myself and pick apart what I look like, and instead redirect it to praising God. To coming before Him and asking Him to make me into the woman He wants me to be inside.
I am still amazed over the years as people say, “you look amazing”, and “you look like you’re doing so good.” And they’re not talking about whether I weigh 100 or 300 pounds, they’re talking about the joy of Jesus they see. That is my hope and prayer that He is reflected in my life each day.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 2:1-2 NKJV
Father God,
Please help me keep my focus on you. As I weigh the options set before me, help me fix my eyes on You, the Author and Perfecter of my faith, the Lover of my soul, and the Creator of me. Help me be clothed in Your righteousness and radiant in Your love. Help me keep an eternal focus on Jesus. Not a temporal body shaming focus where my mind tears myself down instead of focusing on what You have called me to here.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
© 2023 Susan M. Clabaugh with Encouragement in Daily Living LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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