What does abuse look like? Often times we think abuse looks like being beaten, hurt in some way physically or sexually assaulted as you most likely were if you’re reading this. For some reason we tend to discount emotional abuse especially if it’s not done in a loud voice or in what appears to be a mean manner.
Allow me to share some examples of some emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is more of a controlling type of abuse and a belittling so that you don’t feel worthy to depend on anyone except the person who is trying to take you down.
This could be a simple as, “I need to drive you there because you’re not a good driver.”
“You need me to go with you to that doctor’s appointment because you’re not capable of doing it on your own.”
“I’m not going to do that for you because you never thanked me the last time. What are you going to do for me if I do that for you? What am I going to get out of it?” These statements being said to you are not coming from someone who has your good in mind.
There are many types of mental or emotional abuse as well. Manipulation or invalidation on purpose. Exerting complete control over finances or rules.
“You cannot buy anything without asking me.”
I honestly could list so many this post would be too long, but I’m sure you have your own examples as well.
Another example would be being told people will not want to be your friend because you’re not someone they want to be around.
None of these things are usually said in a mean sounding voice or a loud voice but that’s how someone who is an abuser works. They may use what would be considered a loving voice to share these negative statements so that you believe they are true.
And just like any abuse as you are “groomed” and these things are said to you over and over and over, especially if it begins at a young age, you will start to believe it. It is the goal of any abuser for you to have to depend on them so they can use you for their wants and desires. Whether it be some kind of pleasure or control, it’s all about using you.
The problem with silent abuse is it’s not truly silent. It’s just not visible to the naked eye.
So be careful about who you allow to speak into your life because our minds do tend to start to believe what we hear. This is why being immersed in the Bible and God’s truth and what He has to say about you and who you are is crucial.
For if you know Jesus your identity is in God and God alone and His love for you. Even if you don’t know Jesus, God loves you beyond what you can imagine and He wants you to seek Him out. He always wants what’s best for you. Which is what a loving person will do always.
Fill your mind with truth and when the lies are presented you will be able to call them out. I pray you’re able to recognize abuse no matter how sneaky it enters your life and ask God to help you see when it happens.
Take care of yourself my friends.
© 2022 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.