God and Sexual Assault

When you Feel You’re Walking in the Wilderness

Keep Jesus With You

Do you ever feel like you’re taking the long way to healing? That God is taking His time leading you to where you’re going? That YOU think that YOU have a better way than God? That maybe you’re just wondering in the wilderness?

I believe that we have all been there. We tend to be taught in our society that we are powerful enough to know what is best. We also want to get there as fast as possible- whether it be healing, or a promotion, schooling, etc.

We want it to happen NOW. We live in a “fast food” society. We have microwaves to heat up food in seconds, new appliances and technology to speed up work, so we have more time for what? Social Media?

I have been frustrated more than once at how slow things go. Last week I was at the chiropractor, and she sat and talked to me after she adjusted me. I was in a hurry to get going, but I sat down. I was thinking, “Why is she talking to me about nothing? Why are we just chatting? I have things to do.”

As I drove home, I came upon a bad wreck that had just happened at an intersection. The fire truck was just pulling up and I suddenly realized that could have been me if I had left when I wanted to from the chiropractor.

We may get frustrated at where we are in life. I know I have in the past, and even sometimes in the present – I need to have things all figured out right now. I feel sometimes that I am in the wilderness, and I start to think God is just letting me wander because to me the path doesn’t make sense.

I felt like this a lot when I was having to take a lot more time resting and healing at home because I was so emotionally drained. It felt like every day lasted a year. I questioned often why I was in the place I was in and when it would end.

As I read a story in Exodus (13:17-18) recently, I learned something I hadn’t known. When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt – God had Moses lead them by the long route. He avoided taking them the shorter, more direct route, because God knew it would cause them to see things that would make them anxious and they would return to the same place He wanted to deliver them from (Egypt).

Have you ever been there? Wanting to go back or to the shorter route because you feel it would be easier or the path up ahead is scary? I have felt that way a lot in setting up my business and the many “cliffs” I felt like I was jumping off the past year. I wanted it (and still sometimes do) full time, making a great income right NOW this second.

Yet, God is leading me step by step, one step at a time. Because He knows that any faster and I couldn’t handle my anxiety, or tackling things all at once would drain me to not be able to do things the way they need to be done. I have to remember to keep Jesus by my side.

Sometimes following God feels like we’re in the wilderness and abandoned, but we’re not. Sometimes we can feel like we’re jumping off a cliff at times, but feelings aren’t truth. Walking with Him provides the peace and strength to do it.

Just like the bridge Jesus is for us to God and eternal life in heaven, He is the bridge so that we don’t plunge over the cliff as long as we walk step by step with Him, He’ll lead us to where we’re going.

Then, one day we’ll look back and see how many mountains He’s helped us climb and how many cliffs He’s helped us get past.

In my mind I used to think that I had made choices that led to my sexual trauma and that it was my fault. Then, when I had a choice to make that was a huge leap into something new I was scared it would lead to something bad. And it would be my fault again.

But God has slowly led me to realize that is a lie. He is guiding and if I trust Him to walk side by side with me then the “wilderness” will not feel so scary. Plus, I’m not powerful enough to screw up my life beyond His redemption if I am following Him.  

I read something recently that said if you read 20 pages a day you will read 30 books in a year. If you save $10 a day you will save $3,650 a year. Big gains in anything take small steps -even in the wilderness.

I encourage you to trust God in the wilderness and know that one day you can look back and see that He has led you through. Keep Jesus by your side, and take each day, each minute, each hour, one step at a time with Him, and you will eventually look back and see how God has guided you and provided.

Soon, when the wilderness comes again you will not be as scared because God has led you through it before, and you know His outcome will be far beyond what you can imagine.

© 2022 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

2 comments on “When you Feel You’re Walking in the Wilderness


    MUCH needed!!! WOW… 1 day/1 step at a time… sooo true! but, so frequently forgotten…

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