Do you ever equate making the right decision with safety? With all the changes in my life this past year (2021), I began to question every single decision. I kept thinking I was going to screw up my life.
“What if I decide this, and then this bad thing happens? What if I decide to do this, and someone tells me I told you so, and therefore I’m no longer loved?”
As I discussed this with my counselor, I discovered that trauma survivors tend to equate making the right decision with safety.
For example, when we used to have bad weather in the Midwest, I would think that if I chose to drive in it and something bad happened that was my fault and I could have stopped it. (It did not help that I had been told I was a horrible driver and needed other people to take care of me which was a lie.)
I also read, in a devotional that I’ve mentioned before, that I am just not powerful enough to screw up God’s plan for my life if I’m walking with Jesus. (Christy Wright: Living True: 40 days To Get Back To You devotional)
I mean, think about it…
Do you really think you’re powerful enough to screw up your life beyond redemption by the God that created every single thing you see in nature, created you and the brain you’re using to make the decisions? I have news for you – if you’re walking with God -you aren’t going to.
Think about the Bible, God used murderers adulterers, liars, and I could go on and on. He used a teenage girl to bring his Son into the world. When I finally realize I’m just not that powerful, but my God is, it changed things for me.
Now, when I start to make a decision that I’m scared about because I fear screwing up my life, I take it to God and ask him to guide me. I used to think I always needed a “burning bush” to be able to make the right decision that God wanted.
Sometimes there’s not a right or wrong decision as far as whether it’s going to be good or not good. Sometimes, God will bless either decision. For example, which church service to attend, what Bible study group to be a part of, whether to go to Walmart this morning or this evening.
The freedom that I found when I began trusting God with every little decision was amazing. When I let go of the somewhat ego driven thought that I was powerful enough to screw up my life beyond redemption, it freed my mind and my anxiety.
So, as you go about your day, I encourage you to take every decision to God, but also know that if you don’t get an “answer” it could be neither choice is wrong.
When you do screw up, which we all do, take that to God as well and remember that He can redeem anything. Allow Him to use you, mold you, and trust the God that created the universe can redeem your life no matter what you have done.
If you don’t have a relationship with Him, I encourage you to read about him in the book of Luke in the Bible, and check out my post here about starting a relationship with a loving God.
© 2021 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.