God and Sexual Assault

Struggling with Judging

Ourselves and others.

Do you ever struggle with judging other people or yourself? I think we have a society that is teaching us to be judgers. Are you vaccinated or not vaccinated? Are you overweight, or underweight? Are you working or not working…?

Then there’s the self-judging – I should have done this, or that, or I should have worked harder. I should not have eaten so much, and I should have done things differently….I should not have such a hard time getting over my trauma…

We are good with “shoulding” on ourselves and others.

I am not perfect at this by any means, but I am further along than I used to be – with judging myself and others. I do not know someone else’s situation and they don’t know mine – most of the time.

I remember when I was at a writer’s meeting in 2017 a lady introduced herself to me and asked what I did. I fumbled through telling her I was on disability and asked what she did. Instead of telling me what she did, she said, “So, what exactly do you do all day?!”

That was a judgment on me, but I also placed a judgement on her assuming she was not a compassionate person and didn’t understand the struggles I’ve dealt with in life. I had no idea what led her to be someone to place that judgement on me.

Maybe she had at one time been unable to work and that made her feel useless and like she wasn’t doing anything. (I know I have felt those things.) I could speculate all day, but the thing is I judged her too.

I also tend to judge myself. I have gotten better at this as I have been healing, but I used to feel all kinds of judgments about me and my life.

You’re a failure.

You didn’t get this done and it should’ve been.

You should be able to do it all – look at her she does!!

Why aren’t you healing as fast as her or him?


Guess who that really is in my head? (Besides someone I grew up with telling me those things…) It is Satan. He loves to tell us lies – lies from other people and lies from ourselves. He plants them in our brain and tells us we aren’t enough and never will be.

The thing is we are always enough for God. He only longs for us to seek Him and His will. However, His compassions, mercies, and grace are not dependent on anything we do or don’t do. His compassions (which means love in action) cover all our sins against ourselves and others.

So, when we are judging ourselves, we can take that to God and ask Him to help us change our thinking to how He would, and ask for His ever-available compassion to cover us. He is not judging or condemning you or me as long as we know Jesus.

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

As I was reading my Bible the other morning, God showed me the following verse in response to my prayers about what He has to say about my fear and doubt and my judgment that I have them.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

His compassions (which again is love in action) covers all my fear and doubt – those are sins, and He covers them. He doesn’t judge me for them, but instead forgives them and loves me with His never-ending mercy and grace provided through unconditional love.

Are you judging yourself? You progress or your belief that you lack progress? What is God saying to you about those judgments? We are to follow His lead and He doesn’t judge. Should we?

I also must ask His reminder for me to not judge others as well. It’s not showing the love of God to judge someone. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with their choices, but I can still show God’s love.

It’s a daily, and sometimes minute by minute process for all of us. I encourage you to seek out what God wants to share with you about judging yourself and others. I promise it will bring a new freedom to you that you had no idea was possible.

© 2021 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

4 comments on “Struggling with Judging

  1. Thank you, Susan. This is just what I needed to read.

  2. Linda M Ellis

    SOOOO needed this reminder today! Thanks ever so much 💕

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