I have found that many women – and probably some men – have a distorted view of love. This is why the divorce rate is high, and why we seek to have fairy tale romances fill our lives.
I learned along the way that love is not just an action – it is a choice. I can choose to love even when I don’t like someone.
As I have been recovering over the past decade, I realized that there is only One who can fill my longings. There is only One that can be who I need Him to be 24/7 – 365 days a year. My Heavenly Father God. It took me years upon years of anger, frustration, and tears while praying to try to understand this about God.
You may be able to relate because the evil that sexual trauma puts onto you makes you think that there is no good and no love. You feel that all anyone wants from you is to use you and you hear the lie that God let it happen.
I believed that for the longest time and I have discussed before that it was a process of many years, prayers and beginning to process trauma that I have realized it was the evil from Satan that caused it. God allows each of us free will because He’s not a dictator and that allows all of us to sin.
Sin entered the world with Adam, and it is still alive and well today. Sin, brought to us by Satan, is what Satan uses to keep us from the ultimate purpose- which is sharing God’s love with others.
See, Satan lost out on his chance to have the love relationship with God, and he is jealous and doesn’t want anyone else to have that and to spend eternity where he cannot.
So, he tries very hard to throw arrows at us. Look at Job in the Bible. He lost absolutely everything as Satan tested him and his friends all said he should curse God. I must admit that I probably would have cursed God because I blamed God for a long time about the trauma I endured.
As I was reading in Genesis this week, I realized that God did not have to create this world. He did not have to create me – or you – or anyone or anything. Yet, He CHOSE to because He is a God of love. He wanted to shower us with blessings and spend time with us. He created the beauty we see all around in nature just for us to enjoy – because He loves us. How amazing is that?
As I used to lay in bed and long for someone to call me beautiful, hold me and love me, I began to slowly see (over many years) that that someone is already with me. God loves me. He holds onto me (if I don’t pull away) and He calls me beautiful. He calls you beautiful too.
God said that all He created was beautiful. He does not look at us through the sin filled colored glasses that you and I have in this messed up world. He sees all the moles, stretch marks, wrinkles, blemishes, love handles, grey hair and He loves us anyway.
Unconditional love – God’s love – always does what is good for the person even if it doesn’t feel good at the time and it may hurt. He then takes the evil that we endure and the suffering we endure to use it for His good. (Romans 8:28)
It continues to amaze me today because the path my life has taken is NOTHING like what I planned out, yet it has brought me blessings upon blessings. It is also given me a chance to share what God has done and for Him to have the glory – which is the only thing that matters.
I pray that leads others to Him so that they can know His amazing unconditional love and that He continues to use all I have endured for good.
Do you believe God loves you? I encourage you to take that to Him today and seek the Truth. I promise that He will answer you and show you. It may not be today, tomorrow, or even next year, but if you keep seeking, He will begin to open your eyes to His amazing love. A love so strong that He gave His only son just for you.
Rest in that today my friends and know that you are loved unconditionally by the amazing God of the Universe!
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