As trauma survivors we often feel inadequate. That can actually be a good problem. Since we have endured so much we know we are broken, where as some people do not acknowledge this brokenness.
I used to think God couldn’t use me because I am so broken. I am not a great talker, not beautiful or skinny enough, not what the world sees as successful. Especially when I lost my job. “What good was I now?” Was the thought in my head.
As I was thinking about this today I read about Moses. Moses did some awesome things in his life. God used him to part the Red Sea, receive the Ten Commandments, and talk to His people. Yet, did you know Moses asked God to use someone else?
In Exodus 4:13 Moses says, “O my Lord, please send by the hand of Whomever else You may send.” Right before this God reminds Moses that He made his mouth and to “therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” Exodus 4:11-12
Yet, God used him when he felt inadequate in mighty ways to fulfill His purposes. In fact, every person God used in the Bible was imperfect and broken. They all made mistakes. Some of them would be considered huge mistakes to us today. Yet God used every one of them to fulfill his purpose. (Now they are mentioned in the Bible for all the world to see and learn from.)
God is still in the business of using broken people today. Everywhere you look there are broken people doing God’s work. Ministers, educators, counselors, doctors, plumbers…just to name a few occupations, but you don’t have to have an occupation for God to use you.
Never would I have imagined God would take my love for writing and use it in my healing and to share with others. Especially not for over 3 years here on this blog. I am one very broken person, yet He has used my writing and continues to. That is totally God and not me.
So, as you think today about how broken and inadequate you think you are, ask God how He can use those parts of you to share Him with others. To reach another person affected by your trauma, or death of a loved one, or loss of a job.
He will use you if you let Him. I sincerely pray you have a conversation with Him about what He has for you. Our life will not be easy, but it can make a difference for the Kingdom.
I encourage you to make this prayer personal to you.
I feel very inadequate. I am not the best at relationships or conversations. I don’t have a job right now. Some days I feel utterly useless. Yet, you are using me in ways I never would have imagined. To be You to each person that drives through the food pantry right now. Give them a glance that they are cared for and loved.
To share with others who have endured sexual trauma that You are there for them every step along this hard journey. Thank you for using my brokenness. Continue to show me what you have for me and use me in ways I never would have imagined so that others may know you and You can be glorified. Thank you for loving me as Your daughter.
In Jesus Name,
© 2020 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.
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