God and Sexual Assault

When All I Have Is Jesus

He is enough.

I have realized throughout this journey we really have nothing. Not one single thing we can call ours on this earth. No material possession, no person, nothing. The only thing we can claim to have if we have asked Him into our hearts is Jesus. So when I pulled up this song again that I had downloaded on my phone I listened to it over and over. Here’s just a little part of it:

In this life I’ve had many trials and tears.
There were times I said, “God are you even here?”
But He was teaching me a lesson I could learn no other way,
I couldn’t see the treasure, ’til He took the rest away.

When all I have is Jesus,
I have more than enough.
When all I have is the Jesus,
I have all of His love.
I have hope amid the hurting 
And joy when times get tough. 
I have it all when all I have is Jesus.

By: The Phil and Pam Morgan Music Ministry – You can find the song and more here.

I cannot count the times over the past 11 years I have asked God where he was while I was being sexual abused and raped or where he has been during recovery. Because honestly most of the time it feels like He abandoned me. However, He has shown me in little ways He is with me. He is with you.

A person doing a small thing for you without you asking them to. Learning my piano sold and a check would be arriving. Then the same day having a plumbing issue arise which is going to cost a couple hundred dollars, but not having to worry because the money is coming in. Small ways God is showing up.

As I’ve said before he hates what was done to us. He hates sin. However, He can work everything together for good (Romans 8:28) and I do believe He will. I believe there are lessons we are learning in recovery that we could learn no other way and I believe until He took away what we depended on He couldn’t be our all.

I know I was completely dependent on my job and the security I thought it gave me. When I lost it because of my complex PTSD I was devastated and scared to death. It’s only through having to trust God to provide am I learning of God’s treasure.

We may not have the life we “thought” we were going to have and I know mine definitely looks nothing like I “imagined” it would at 42, but God is doing things for me that would not have happened otherwise and my guess is that He is doing the same for you.

The journey we’re on is hard and long, but we have the most dependent One to lean on ever. I’m so thankful to have Jesus. Because when it comes down to it, when all we have is Jesus we definitely have more than enough.

Song and Lyrics by: Phil and Pam Morgan Music Ministry

© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

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