I remember hearing when I was younger that money is the root of all evil. And that is not true because that’s not what the Bible says about money. The Bible says the love of money is root of all evil. And when we’ve come to depend on money more than we depend on God, that money has become an idol.

This can be hard when we have significant expenses. When you are overwhelmed and having to go into debt to pay for even a necessary thing. Like medical care.

I’ve been mentioning a bit about health issues that I’m facing and maybe at some point I will share more in depth what those are, but one of them is long Covid or chronic fatigue syndrome, which makes it very difficult to function. (It comes with lots of insomnia, pain and difficulty getting a good breath.) It complicates things when you’re single and you run your own business – it can leave you exhausted and lonely because you have no energy for anything outside of work. (Honesty there’s not even energy for that most days.)

I was driving home from my doctors office a few weeks ago and was completely overwhelmed from all of the results.

Hopeful …but overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed with the process and the expense. And as I allowed myself to just let it all out and cry – with my worship music blaring – on the drive home, Google decided to take me roundabout way in Kansas City.

I ended up at a stoplight with three homeless people living on the corner. It literally looked like they’d set up their little “home” or tents there. And one of the men was in a wheelchair and had only one leg. Though I totally feel like God is OK with me releasing the emotions and the feelings and allowing those tears to come because He created our bodies to process those kinds of emotions… at that moment I said “forgive me, Lord for not being grateful for all that I have. Thank you that I’m going home. Home. I have a car to get there, roof over my head, running water, shower, toilets, appliances, more than enough food, and so much more.”

I often have to come back and put into perspective my life, and remember the ultimate goal. Especially when life is extra hard. The goal of this life if you are a believer is to know God and make Him known. It’s not to run a successful business or have a successful career or make as much money as you can even if that money blesses other people. Would that be an awesome thing? Yeah, sure, but that’s not the goal of life.

In fact, recently, I heard Donnie Wahlberg, (if you don’t know that name, he is an actor on the show Blue Bloods, but for me, he was part of the 90’s band New Kids on the Block). Yes I’m that old.😉

Anyway, He was talking about finally coming into a relationship with Jesus in the past year and how he doesn’t have this testimony of coming from nothing to Jesus because he had what the world would say was “everything”. Materially and professionally his life was awesome and yet you know what he said?

I felt empty.

Wow, how powerful is that? 

We are made to be in relationship with Jesus and to share that with others. And I truly believe that Satan will do absolutely anything he can to keep us from doing that.

So I’ve been coming back often to my life verse 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 – “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen as eternal.”

Do I like these trials? Do I understand these trials and pain? No, but here’s what I do know. God knows. He gets it. He was perfect, came to earth and lived a perfect life, was ridiculed, beaten, tortured, spit on, talked about behind his back, betrayed, criticized, nailed to across…and on that cross carried the entire weight of every single sin.

And friend you may not feel totally understood in this life by other humans but know this…

God gets it. He understands. He’s for you and He loves you more than you can even begin to fathom.

So if you are struggling to balance gratitude, grief, and struggle, I challenge you to do two things.

Throw a small pity party if you need to but do it with God. Go to God with your feelings. Scream, yell. He already knows how you feel but tell Him. Cry, lament, grieve, and journal out what you’re feeling because He created you and your body to process that way….we have an entire book of lament in the Bible.

But…

Then, immediately list at least three things you’re grateful for and I promise you’ll end up writing an entire page when you stop to think of all you are blessed with.

Our hope is in God alone. Just as this song by MercyMe says, “I know the pain and I know the hurt would all go away if you just said the word…but even if you don’t, my hope is you alone.“

I hope to be back soon, friends. I’ll try to be more consistent if my body and life allow. Have a blessed day!

Here’s the song to get you started today and then if you have not watched, “I Can Only Imagine 2” – I highly recommend it.

(C) 2026 All Rights Reserved. Susan M. Clabaugh with Encouragement in Daily Living LLC