“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Ephesians 6:12-13 NKJV

Living the Christian life is not easy. I even joked at a group I attended this past week. We had to list the challenge we were facing. I said, “The Christian life in itself is challenging.” Every woman laughed and agreed.

But sometimes we are fighting the wrong enemy. Last week I took some time off. The first time off I’ve had in well over a year, and I rewatched the movie War Room. In it, there’s a fun-loving older woman named Clara. She is mentoring a woman named Elizabeth. Elizabeth is struggling in her marriage. Elizabeth sits down and starts complaining about all the things that are wrong with her husband. Clara’s response is simple, yet complex. She says, “Elizabeth, you’re fighting the wrong enemy. Tony, your husband, is not your enemy. Satan is.”

Wow….mic drop right there.

I’ve made the comment numerous times that Christians ironically are the ones who make my life harder. After watching that movie last week, I had an experience with someone who deeply hurt me this past week.

God reminded me that Satan wants division among Christians. He wants to take the miscommunication, misunderstanding, differences in opinions and cause division. If you’re a Christian who is following Jesus, and have chosen to put your trust in Him as Savior, He can’t keep you out of heaven. That battle is lost to him. However, he can destroy your witness by causing division among believers. This prevents us from fulfilling the Great Commission.

Wow – that’s powerful ….and scary.

So, here’s how I’ve been fighting this recent battle this week.

On my knees. In worship and leaving this person and situation in God’s hands.

I bathe all of my communication in prayer anyway, but especially when I’ve been triggered or hurt by someone. For years, I reacted from a place of hurt. I have now learned to step back and pray before responding.

Well….most of the time… I have failed in this before. I have had to go back and ask for forgiveness before. However, this past week I stepped back before responding each time.

It didn’t make a difference. A misunderstanding somehow ensued, and since I knew I was already emotionally and physically at my limit, I had to gently close out the conversation for now.

God used this to remind me I only have control over myself and my actions. He is going to have to fight this battle for me. And if there’s one thing I have learned in recovering from trauma, it is that hurt people hurt people.

Believe me, I know. I’m a completely different person than I was 20 years ago. It took a lot of work and healing. Without my relationship with Jesus, and His guidance in healing trauma, I would be a very angry and bitter person.

I am also very aware that there’s an unseen realm that we are battling. There’s nothing Satan wants more than to cause division among believers.

My question and challenge for you today is how will you respond when someone hurts you – even if they didn’t mean to? Will you respond on your knees and in love?

And here’s the kicker about responding in love. It’s stepping back from responding because we want some things settled in us right this minute, to responding when God directs.

Ouch, that hurts for those of us that struggle with patience. But I know I’m slowing learning this. (Ha, ha get it? Slowly learning this? Come on you know that was funny. I’m trying to lighten a very heavy topic here so work with me, okay?)

I’ll leave you with this before we pray.

Are you willing to ask Jesus when the right time to respond is and what exactly you’re supposed to say or not say? Let’s take it before God today.

Father God,
This life is hard. There are battles raging all around us and a sense of despair that lingers in this world. I am thankful it is not my home, and I ask that You go before me each moment of each day. Guide my actions and my words and open the heart and mind of (insert someone who you are struggling to communicate with right now). I place (list person again) in your hands. Help me hear from You when the right time to have a conversation would be. I put on Your armor today that You would fight the spiritual battle. Help me as Your child to love on others. Help me release all to You and trust You in all things. Also, help me be receptive when I have hurt others, even if it was done unintentionally. I want all of my life to honor You. Continue to be my all and my everything, keeping in mind that this world is not my home. Thank You for that hope.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Do you want some more guidance on navigating difficult conversations?
Watch these excellent podcasts.

© 2025 Susan M. Clabaugh with Encouragement in Daily Living LLC. All Rights Reserved.