“So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)
You belong to a club you never wanted to join. You never asked for any of these things to happen to you. Being in the club of those who have been sexually assaulted can be exclusive in a way you never wanted to be.
It leads to the “If only’s…”
“If only…” That is what my friend kept saying to me. If only I could have done something to stop it. If only I had been bigger. If only people understood what it’s like to be sexually assaulted. For many of us, again, and again.
I knew what she meant. What she feels. “If only…” Many people don’t want to acknowledge sexual assault happens, but it does. Based on reports, before the age of 18, 1 in 4 girls, and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted, but 85% of sexual assault victims (like me) never report their abuse. If you are a survivor of sexual assault you are not alone. Many have yet to let anyone know. If you are reading this, I congratulate you on a step toward healing.
Yet there’s still “If only…”. “If only” it never happened my life would be different. Except it did happen. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to wish it away, but we can’t. It did, and it’s not our fault. We couldn’t stop it. We’re not to blame. We were the victim. We are now survivors.
God can take the most painful times in our lives and use them for His good. He has plans beyond what we can ever ask or imagine. He tells us in all things He works for the good who love Him. (Romans 8:28 NIV) Even though we cannot see it now, or even tomorrow, He will see us through the darkness.
He loves you. He cares for you. When no one else understands, God understands. He understands the “If only…” and He says, I am with you, I will help you, I will strengthen you and hold you. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)
Try picturing God holding you as you pray today.
I cannot help but question what my life would have been like had I not been sexually assaulted. Guide me in allowing you to work in my life, and find the right people to help me heal. I know it will not happen overnight, so please help me be patient. I need your strength for this long battle.
Statistics from http://chauciesplace.org/child-sexual-abuse-statistics
© 2017 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.
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